Sneaky Bastards – An Ode to Military Humor

If you have read a few of my recent posts, you know that I have written about my family’s departure from Hawaii on our way to Tacoma enroute to North Dakota and the East Coast.  I was ultimately headed to the East Coast to Fort Lee, Virginia to attend the Logistics Executive Development Course.  The stops in Tacoma and North Dakota were to visit relatives.  That reminds me, I should probably tell you my theory of relatives sometime.  Not now, but sometime in the future.  See, Einstein had his theory of relativity, and well, my theory is kinda like that.  Only, my theory is about relatives.  Kinda neat, huh?  Oh yeah, the stop in North Dakota was also to retrieve my red Chevy van.  There was the really rough landing that my luggage experienced.  To be brutally honest, my luggage was beat to hell.  But enough about my luggage.  After I settled all of the claims for my lost, damaged, and destroyed luggage with the airline and the Army, my family and I relaxed and enjoyed some vacation time with our relatives in Tacoma while also celebrating my son’s birthday.  After we had celebrated my son’s birthday and visited all of our friends and relatives that would see us and visit with us, we decided it was time to head for North Dakota.  We got to North Dakota without any problems, but there were a few hiccups.  For example, my brother Jethro was supposed to show up to pick my family and I up at the airport.  Well, that didn’t happen.  My brother Ron ended up picking my family and I up and we stayed at his house for a couple of days.  During which we went to the county fair where I got trapped on the Zipper with my niece.  No.  I didn’t say that I got my junk trapped in a zipper.  Damn!  There was nothing about Mary happening that day.  Then we went to my parents’ house to pick up my red Chevy van so that we could travel to Minneapolis and on to Fort Lee, Virginia.  While there, we went to see a Minnesota Twinkies (Twins) game all the while being outclassed by an eighty-year-old spinster during batting practice.  Finally, on the drive east toward Fort Lee, Virginia we experience a biblical flood and highway robbery.  Well, once we arrived at Fort Lee, Virginia, the first order of business was to sign in at the Logistics school to let everyone know that I was there and then to sign back out on leave.  Going out to find a place in the low rent district  to stay while I attended the Logistics Executive Development Course.  Well, as time went on while we lived in that trailer park, our suspicions about the pickup driving, backwoods dwelling, varmint hunting, shotgun hauling trailer park manager proved to be spot on.  One day after he caught his son playing with my son, he told his son in a raised voice within earshot of several witnesses, including my son, “You will never play with that boy again.  Do you understand?  You are not allowed to play with his kind.  And that goes for that black kid that lives next door to them.  You ain’t allowed to play with him either.”  A reasonable person can only draw one conclusion from those statements.  That park manager was damn racist and he was teaching his son to be racist as well.  Except, his son wasn’t listening.  Trailer park manager’s words would go in one of his son’s ears and out the other ear without ever being processed.  And as soon as dear old dad disappeared from the trailer park, the trailer park manager’s son would be right back at our door asking to play with my son and at our neighbor’s house to play with their son.  They just had to be a lot more sneaky.  They got to be very sneaky as time went on.  After getting yelled at once or twice, they never got caught playing together again.  Oh, and they played together all the time.  They just never got caught.  Very sneaky indeed.  You know, kids can be quite devious when they want to be.  And they can teach their parents a whole lot if their parents will let them.  The problem with being devious and conniving and sneaky is that it can come back to bite you in the ass.  Oh hell yes.  And bite my son in the ass, it did.  But that’s a whole nother story.  Those sneaky bastards played together all the time and didn’t experience any other exercises in futility.

***Racism is something that can be unavoidable in life. It is unfortunate that it occurs and in no way is condoned by the staff here at Springtime Folly. But as something that happened during the course of the story it must be mentioned, but in a way that is no way meant to approve of or condone the type of behavior discussed.***

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