While I served as the commander of the 305th Supply and Services Company in the 227th Maintenance Battalion At Yongsan, Seoul, Korea, there was never a dull moment. How could there be? I commanded 425 soldiers and civilians spread out across nine installations that covered a lot of territory in the combat zone in Korea. I spent a lot of time on the road visiting my soldiers and civilians at remote installations. However, when I wasn’t on the road, I was actively engaged at the company headquarters. One of the facilities that kept me busy was the Eighth Army mortuary. The mortuary served the entire Pacific Rim because the next nearest facility was located in Honolulu, Hawaii. The mortuary was alerted to handle the remains of US citizens that died abroad while visiting or vacationing in foreign countries or traveling on cruise ships. It also handled the remains of US and foreign diplomats when asked to do so by the United States Embassy in Seoul, Korea. I received a call one morning from my Battalion Commander. It seemed that he wanted to see me in his office immediately. I wondered what I had done this time. When I got to his office and reported, my Battalion commander said, “Wright, I need you to have your mortuary looking sharp in about 30 minutes.” I asked, “What’s going on, Sir?” “The Eighth Army Chief of Staff, Major General Taylor, and some other general from out of town will be here to take a tour of your mortuary.” “Only the mortuary Sir? They don’t want to see anything else?” “No. That was the only thing on their agenda.” “Well, I guess that our out of town general must have some kind of morbid sense of curiosity. Either that or he’s a gravedigger himself. Okay, Sir. We’ll be ready.” I had just headed out of the Battalion headquarters toward my company area when I noticed a vehicle with flag rank officers pulling into the Battalion area. I saluted smartly and kept on moving. Apparently I wasn’t going to get that half hour. Just as I arrived at the mortuary, I noticed the Battalion commander along with Major General Taylor and another general headed toward my mortuary. I had just enough time to duck inside and warn my mortuary NCOIC and my mortician. The mortician and everybody else in the mortuary were actively involved with what appeared to be a dead body in the back room. But I didn’t have a chance to talk with my NCOIC before the Battalion Commander arrived with the dignitaries. So, I was not sure. I called attention as they arrived and walked through the front door. My NCOIC came out from the back, and I introduced him to our distinguished guests. I quickly whispered, “Pssst… Sergeant Jones, the curtain to the back room is open. The curtain!” At about that same time, one of the gravediggers in the back noticed that something was going on up in the front and closed the curtain. However, it was not before the visiting general noted with interest, “My, my! That is such a realistic mannequin. They didn’t make training mannequins like that when I was coming up through the ranks. That mannequin looked almost like a real live lady.” I was thinking to myself, you don’t even know the half of it. That realistic mannequin that he had seen was not a mannequin. That realistic mannequin was actually the body of a lady that we had picked up at the port of Pusan the day before at the direction of the US Embassy. The lady was a US citizen who had died while traveling aboard a cruise ship. The ship had docked at the port of Pusan, so that the body could be dropped off for shipment to our mortuary. After the generals had left, my Battalion Commander called me back into his office. His first question to me was, “Wright, was that a mannequin?” I replied, “Sir, I think we both know the answer to that question already. You know as well as I do that we don’t have any training mannequins. That was a live body, Sir. Well, actually, it was a dead body. Cuz if she were still alive, she wouldn’t be in my mortuary. My guys had to pick that lady up, down in Pusan yesterday. She died while on a cruise ship out in the Pacific Ocean near Japan. We got the word from the embassy to embalm her and prep her for shipment to Honolulu.” “Does that mean we have to use one of our transfer cases?” “Yes Sir. We don’t have any pine boxes to ship her in. And the embassy didn’t exactly give us a transfer case. However, they did give us a billing number to charge everything to.” “God dammit. Why in the hell was the curtain to the window open?” “First of all, the front door to the mortuary was locked. Other than the mortuary NCOIC and the mortician, I’m the only one with a key. Nobody could see through the brick walls or the steel door, and you did tell me that I had a half hour to get them prepared. What in the hell happened to that half hour?” “Well, their schedule changed, and they were running a little ahead of schedule.” “Oh really?!? Thanks for the warning.” “But the curtain shouldn’t have been open in any case if they were working on a dead body. That was actually a dead body?” “Yes Sir. I’m afraid so, Sir. Dead as a doornail. And I’ve duly noted the situation with the curtain, Sir. That won’t happen again.” “Well, I guess it’s a good thing that those generals thought that it was just a realistic mannequin.” Of course, it helped that they bought the story that my grave’s registration personnel were just conducting their monthly Military Occupational Specialty (MOS) training. Gull-e-bull. That’s what they were. As a result, my Battalion Commander and I escaped one helluva exercise in futility.
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