I had a part-time job at Dillard’s department store in the Aurora Mall while I lived in Denver, Colorado. I managed to survive a whole day in the women’s lingerie department at Dillard’s when I first started. Well, I worked part time, so it wasn’t really a whole day. It was more like just a few hours. But still, it sounds more melodramatic if I say I survived a WHOLE day. Don’t you think? Anyway, my second day on the job, management moved me over to the men’s suits department. I immediately started scoping out the men’s suits department to see where stuff was. I have to admit I didn’t know Jack about men’s suits. Nope. Nada. Zilch. So, I walked over to the guy in charge and said, “Let’s pretend that I don’t know shit about men’s suits. Cuz I don’t know shit about men’s suits. If someone comes in and asks me what’s a good suit to buy? What should I take him to? Keep in mind that I’d prefer to sell the Cadillac instead of the Chevy.” The guy replied, “Well, if the customer is looking for a sports coat or a jacket, take him to the Harris tweeds. They are over here. If they are looking for two-piece suits or blazers, start with the Hickey Freeman, Ted Baker London, Hart Schaffner Marx, Hugo Boss, John Varvatos, Cremieux, or Murano brands. My first customer was actually a lady. She came up to me and asked if I could help her. I said sure. I asked, “How may I help you?” The lady answered, “You are about the same size as my son. I want to buy a really nice blazer for him. What should I buy?” “Does he prefer solid colors or more of a plaid pattern?” “Definitely solid colors.” “Okay. Lighter or darker color?” “I think he would prefer more of a darker color.” “Then, I will show you what I would buy if I could afford it.” I took her straight to the Hugo Boss Johnstons/Lenon solid wool blazer. I showed her the four colors it came in. I thought the gray, or the navy blue would be the best choices. She chose the navy blue. Then she asked, “Do you have a good overcoat that would double as a rain jacket or a snow jacket?” I replied, “I’m guessing that this is for your son as well?” She looked at me and smiled and said, “Why yes.” “I thought so. Come with me. I know just the thing.” I took her over to the London Fog collection. I said, “London Fog is perhaps the best product to fill the need that you described. They look dressy and they are durable. They are built for the elements. You may find that your son wears that London Fog as a standalone overcoat, with just a sweater or a cardigan underneath. Would that be all right?” “Yes. I believe it would. And I think you’re right. It seems like you know my son.” “No, ma’am. I just know what I like and how I would wear it if it were me.” My first day in men’s suits, I had the highest sales in the department. Everybody asked me my secret. I told them I didn’t have a secret. I said, “The secret is to take the customers straight to the most expensive shit in the department and get them to buy that.” One of the other guys looked at me and said, “What happens if that doesn’t work?” “Well, I don’t know. Cuz it always works for me. So, if it doesn’t work for you, that means you are doing something wrong. Go figure.” “Oh man. That’s some kind of bullshit. So, you can’t even tell us what we’re doing wrong?” “How in the hell am I going to tell you what you are doing wrong when I don’t even watch you while you sell? Huh? See, I don’t have time to watch you while I’m busy trying to outsell you.” “What kinda bullshit is that?” “Okay. Here is a simple philosophy. I believe in trying to sell Cadillacs rather than Chevys. So, I try to sell a Cadillac to every customer that walks into the department. I don’t insult them by assuming they can’t afford to buy the Cadillac. I automatically assume they can. I never offer them a lower-priced option until they say the high-priced option is too expensive. Cuz rich people don’t want you to think that they can’t afford to buy what you’re trying to sell them.” “That crap doesn’t work. Where did you learn all that horse shit?” “I worked in a car dealership a while back, and the sales people there told me to never assume that the customer couldn’t afford the most expensive car on the lot. I learned a lot at that car dealership.” Inside of a week, I became the top salesman in the men’s department and stayed there. Even though my job at Dillard’s was part time, I took it seriously and did not view it as another exercise in futility.
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