If you have read some of my most recent posts, you know that I have been writing about my experiences after leaving the Logistics Executive Development Course at Fort Lee, Virginia. Well, I graduated from the Logistics Executive Development Course in due course, and my family and I headed for Fort Huachuca, Arizona. Thus, I am left the Logistics Executive Development Course and Fort Lee, Virginia, behind. If you want to know more about those subjects, you will just have to go back and revisit the posts on those subjects. If you have been reading my most recent posts about my adventures after moving to Arizona, you found out what happened when I initially signed in at Fort Huachuca, Arizona. I subsequently revealed to you that I had been assigned to the Joint Interoperability Test Center (JITC) at Fort Huachuca. JITC is a subordinate command of the Defense Information Systems Agency. You may have read about an interesting situation with a temporary guard. In that same post, I also talked about securing housing for my family. That secured post housing and how spiders rained from the ceilings. Oh yeah. That was quite entertaining. Not. I then switched gears to talk about some of my volunteer work on Fort Huachuca. Oh yeah. That was quite fun and interesting too. I was volunteered by my unit to be a tax officer to help soldiers and their families prepare their taxes. Yay. I discussed how I helped my Master Gunnery Sergeant and his dependapotamus spouse prepare their personal income taxes. I talked about where my quarters were located on Fort Huachuca and how I was introduced to the local chapter of the Hash House Harriers. I talked about an incident that happened soon after I assumed my tour of duty at the Joint Interoperability Test Center (JITC) at Fort Huachuca. This particular incident occurred one Monday morning soon after I arrived at work. For more on that particular incident and my first NCOIC, Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr, please visit that post. In still another of my most recent posts, I wrote about my efforts to secure a farewell award for my NCOIC, Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr. I wrote in that post that there would be two farewell posts about Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr. Well, since the first post was about his farewell award, obviously, my most recent post had to be about his actual farewell and his plans after life in the military. In my most recent post, I talked about a strange spectacle that I beheld as I arrived for work one morning. If you want to know the details about that spectacle, you will just have to read that post. Today, I am going to shift gears and talk about a couple natural phenomena that occur at Fort Huachuca during the summer months. Yes. It was fast approaching summer and I had been without an NCO to lead me or for me to lead as the case might be for more than two months. We didn’t have any troops to lead or military missions to accomplish so it wasn’t a big deal. But somebody had to make the coffee. Why should it be me every single day? That’s what you have NCOs for right?!? Well, imagine my surprise when I saw this strange individual in a military uniform chasing after a hat across the Joint Interoperability Test Center (JITC) tactical testbed. That leads me to one of the natural phenomena. I know that I mentioned two phenomena, but I am only going to talk about one of phenomena today. That phenomenon is the way the wind blows down off of the Huachuca Mountains. At about 30 to 40 miles an hour with gusts up to seventy miles an hour. Don’t get me wrong. The wind is not just a phenomenon that occurs during the summer. The wind whips up whenever it damn well feels like it. Well, that’s what it seems like. But actually the wind whoops up whenever a low-pressure system blows over the area. The weather prognosticators like to call it a low-pressure trough. Now I’m not even going to pretend to know what in the hell a low-pressure trough is, but that’s what they call it. See, I know what a trough is. That’s a big, long, hollow tree trunk looking thing that holds water. Troughs are normally used to water livestock. That’s what a trough is. Now this bullshit with a low-pressure trough, well, I just think the weather prognosticators want to sound fancy and sophisticated like they know shit. Anyway, I digress. As I was saying, the wind was really whooping and I saw this strange soldier that had never seen before chasing a hat across the compound. Naturally, the wind wasn’t helping him much. The other thing I noticed was that the boy couldn’t run. Then I noticed the gray hair. My first thought was, “Holy shit, that guy is an antique.” Well, that probably wasn’t my first thought. But it was right up there. Too bad I didn’t have my video camera with me. That video would have been one for the ages. Soon after I arrived at my office, a knock arose on my door. After I told the person to enter, it turned out to be that strange soldier who had been chasing his hat. He introduced himself as Master Sergeant Brian Hammond. He snapped to attention and reported for duty. After we shook hands, I told him about his predecessor, Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr who always slept in the back of his truck. I asked Master Sergeant Hammond if I would be able to find him in the back of his truck as easily as I found Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr whenever I needed him. He burst out laughing. He couldn’t believe that Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr had not changed from his previous duty station. Apparently, Master Sergeant Hammond had known his predecessor. I told him that we needed to get him introduced to the brass, so I took him across the compound. While we were rocking across the compound to the main building, his hat went flying again. This time, I was able to catch his hat, so I carried it in the building for him. He asked me to give him his hat back, but I refused. I cited some bullshit about failure to secure his cover. When we reported to my supervisor (who happened to be a Marine Lieutenant Colonel), I sat Master Sergeant Hammond’s hat down on his desk. The Lieutenant Colonel looked at me and said, “Captain Masters, why do you have the Master Sergeant’s cover?” I replied, “Sir, Master Sergeant Hammond is reporting for duty, but he is too broke to buy a new cover that fits. This one obviously doesn’t. It is way too big for his head, unless of course you have a head inflator. That would solve the problem as well.” “A head inflator? What in the hell is a head inflator?” “You know Sir, it’s one of those thing-a-ma-jig’s that you use to inflate things like balls and heads to put more air in them. See, I saw the wind blow this cover right off the head of Master Sergeant Hammond not once but twice today in the span of ten minutes. That means either. The hat is too big or the head is too small.” Only two ways I could think of to solve that problem: either buy a smaller hat or add some air to his head to make it bigger.” The Lieutenant Colonel looked at Master Sergeant Hammond and said, “as you may have guessed, Captain Masters is somewhat of a comedian and a jokester. I think you two will hit it off. By the way, if this hat is a little big, you may want to get a new one. The wind blows a lot around here.” That is how my new NCOIC introduced himself to me with no other exercises in futility.
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