Well, my days serving as the Commander of the 305th Supply and Services Company in the 227th Maintenance Battalion At Yongsan, Seoul, Korea, had come and gone. And my fantastic vacation to the island of Guam with my family had also come and gone. It’s funny how time flies when you are having fun. And it is also funny how time seems to drag on and on when you are doing something boring and mundane. If you recall my final act as the 305th commander, you will remember that I invited three general officers to my change of command ceremony. In fact, five general officers actually did show up for my change of command, three US Army general officers and two Republic of Korea Army generals. One of the three generals, the General Officer in charge of the Eighth United States Army G4 showed up because I was going to be working for him immediately after I left command and returned from Guam. I was going to work for the General Officer in charge of the Eighth United States Army G4 because I had kind of worked for him while I was assigned to the Matériel Readiness Office under the Deputy Chief of Staff, Matériel, 19th Support Command, Camp Henry, Korea. In reality, I had worked for multiple people while I held the position as the chief of the aforementioned Matériel Readiness Branch. I had worked for the Deputy Chief of Staff, Matériel, 19th Support Command. But I had also worked for the Chief of Staff, 19th Support Command, the Commanding General, 19th Support Command, and General Officer in charge of the Eighth United States Army G4. One of my duties and responsibilities while I was assigned to the Matériel Readiness Office was to participate as a member of the Eighth United States Army Command Logistics Review Team. After I reported for duty at Headquarters, Eighth United States Army G4, I was again assigned almost immediately to the Eighth United States Army Command Logistics Review Team. As a result, I spent a lot of time out on the road with the inspection team. Thus, it came quite as a surprise to me when, two months after I joined the Eighth United States Army G4, I learned that the General Officer in charge of the Eighth United States Army G4 was leaving to take a position back in the United States. Just a few days after the change in leadership at the Eighth United States Army G4, we (the rank-and-file personnel assigned to the G4) could tell that things were not going to be “business as usual.” One of the first directives that the new general put out to all of the rank-and-file personnel was that they would assemble every Friday morning for a mandatory physical training run. Now, I don’t know who this new general thought that he was dealing with. But every single person on his staff was a senior NCO or a senior officer. He wasn’t Commanding a bunch of privates and lieutenants. In fact, he wasn’t Commanding a damn thing. But we all showed up that first Friday morning at 0600 hours like the obedient little sheep that we were. He had instructed us to assemble in the parking lot next to the Yongsan South Post gym. Naturally, we were there and waiting at five minutes before six. And as expected, the general didn’t show up until 0620 hours. And like the obedient sheep that we were, we just stood in formation and waited for his sorry ass. When he finally did arrive, he instructed us to run on our own for two miles along the standard physical training route while the Sergeant Major timed us. He stated that the first run would just be to determine what kind of physical shape that the G4 staff was in. He also stated that the run on the following Friday would be in formation. That was sort of an indicator to the rank-and-file that he was serious about this mandatory physical training run. It really didn’t bother me one way or the other because I could run. But I noticed that a lot of my colleagues seem to be pretty upset. After that, the general released us to the Sergeant Major, who told us all to line up at the beginning of the two-mile physical training route. After we were lined up, the Sergeant Major blew a whistle and the rank-and-file commenced running. I couldn’t help but notice that it was a “do as I say not as I do kind of show.” Simply put, I noticed that the Sergeant Major, the G4 General in charge, the Sergeant Major’s clerk, and the aid to the General were exempt from running. I wondered why that was. Were they magically in shape? Would they magically pass a two-mile run event on a physical training test? But then, I forgot about them and took off. I figured that I could run faster than the fastest youngsters when I was in command, and I also figured that I hadn’t slowed down much. And I liked to run. As a result, I turned on my jets and started to bolt. At about the mile and a quarter mark, I kicked in the afterburners because I could still see one or two people in front of me. Before I hit the turn for the home stretch at the mile and three-quarter mark, there was nobody in front of me. All I could see was daylight and the finish line. And since there were no young privates to show off their speed, it was time to give it all that I had. In the final burst of speed, I could barely feel my feet touching the road as I crossed the finish line in a little under eleven minutes. I could still run as fast as the youngsters. The Sergeant Major was shocked as he recorded my time. The next closest person to me was almost a full minute behind. After the run was finished, some of my friends from the Eighth United States Army Command Logistics Review Team came up to me after the run and asked me what the hell happened to me? I asked them what they meant? Naturally, I was puzzled because nothing had happened to me. One of my friends said, “Well, you were already running pretty damn fast. So damn fast, in fact, that we couldn’t even catch you. Then, you just disappeared.” I replied, “Well, you see, I thought that if I ran fast enough, they would exempt me from future iterations of this bullshit run. But it seems like it doesn’t work that way.” Anyway, we all finished the run that day with no (other) exercises in futility.
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