Winds of Change – An Ode to Military Humor

I had been reassigned to the 227^th Maintenance Battalion at Yongsan, Seoul, Korea, to take command of the 305^th Supply and Services Company.  I had also  asked the Battalion Commander to give me a few days to G2 the company incognito before he introduced me to the company formally and we started the change of command inventory process.  If you read my account of the intel gathering, you are well aware of some of the early issues that I encountered.  Things only got worse as time went on and I continued to look around various different elements of the 305^th Supply and Services Company.  I noted that the tactical 10K forklift that had been responsible for killing a warehouse worker when it was used improperly inside of a warehouse was still being used improperly inside of that same warehouse.  It seemed as if the leaders and subordinate leaders in the 305^th Supply and Services Company just did not learn from their mistakes.  That would have to be fixed.  Even if it meant that some heads would have to roll.  Hmmm…  I wondered if they had a bowling alley nearby?  Perhaps I would have to explore that as an option.  Hmmm…  Finally, the day of reckoning had arrived.  I went up to the 227^th Maintenance Battalion headquarters to speak with the Battalion Commander.  When I was told that I could see the Battalion Commander, I walked into his office, reported, and said, “Sir, I have finished my G2 mission of the company, and it is time for you to formally introduce me to the Commander and staff as the next Commander of the company.”  The Battalion Commander replied, “I will get that set up on my calendar for tomorrow.”  After the Battalion Commander had arranged for a company formation to formally introduce me as the incoming Company Commander of the 305^th Supply and Services Company, we made plans for how the event would take place.  The next day, the Battalion Commander and I walked over to the 305^th Supply and Services Company and I was introduced to the company as the incoming Company Commander.  Then I asked the Battalion Commander to instruct the Officers and NCOs of the 305^th Supply and Services Company to cooperate with me during all matters related to the change of command, including but not limited to the change of command inventories.  I told the incumbent Company Commander that I wanted to start the change of command inventories the following day, starting with the Class IV Supply Warehouse.  That was the infamous warehouse that was notorious for the improper use of the tactical 10K forklift inside of the warehouse.  If the leaders of that warehouse were violating safety practices, I wanted to find out right quick and in a hurry exactly what other kinds of shortcuts they might be taking.  I told him to have that warehouse prepared for inspection by 0800 hours the next morning.  I said that I wanted all of their accountable property laid out and prepared for inventory.  When I arrived in the 305^th Supply and Services Company area the next morning, the Company Commander was nowhere to be found.  The Class IV Supply Warehouse was not prepared for inspection, and no accountable property had been laid out for inventory.  When I challenged the Chief Warrant Officer and the Sergeant First Class in charge of the warehouse to layout their accountable property, they not only kept sitting in their lounge chairs.  But the sorry sons-of-bitches told me that I wasn’t ‘the boss of them’ and that they didn’t have to answer to me.  Okay, fine.  I told them that there was a Battalion Commander right down the road that could put their life and military career in a whole world of hurt.  I told them, “Don’t go far because this ain’t over.  You fellas are going to regret tangling with me.  Cuz the last time I checked; I still outrank both of your sorry asses.  Don’t get up on my account.  I’ll be back.”  In 15 minutes, I was back with the Battalion Commander and the Battalion XO.  They were not very happy.  They told me to stay outside while they went in.  I didn’t have to go in to hear the thermonuclear reaction that they set off when they walked in.  The Battalion Commander lit into the warrant officer and set his ass on fire.  He told the Sergeant First Class that if he got another complaint from me, he would have me write a formal charge sheet to proffer charges against him.  Essentially, he read the Sergeant First Class the riot act.  I think that got his attention.  Then, the Battalion Commander went back to Battalion headquarters.  The Battalion XO and I went down to the company orderly room to find out where in the hell the incumbent Company Commander was.  When we walked in, a Lieutenant was in the orderly room.  However, nobody in that orderly room yelled attention to acknowledge the presence of a field grade officer in the company area.  Bad mistake.  The Battalion XO was starting to believe everything that I had told him.  First, the Battalion XO jacked up the Lieutenant for improper protocol.  Then, he asked where in the hell the company commander was?  The Lieutenant did not know and only replied that the Commander had not shown up for work that day.  The XO told the Lieutenant to call the commander and get his sorry ass into the company area.  Then, the XO left.  Since I wasn’t able to get anything done that morning, I decided to go over to the mortuary.  I had heard that my Graves Registration platoon was pretty well squared away, and that the mortuary was also squared away.  Thus, I wanted to check it out for myself.  The Staff Sergeant in charge of the gravediggers told me that he could have his accountable property ready for inventory by 1300 hours that afternoon.  I told him that if we could inventory everything including the property assigned to the mortuary, it was a deal.  He said we could, so we set up an appointment to inventory all of his hand receipts.  That afternoon, after I had finished inventorying the Graves Registration platoon property, I headed over to the Class I Perishable Cold Storage Facility to cool off.  A few soldiers were also cooling-off inside with the frozen chickens and other perishable food.  I had seen soldiers and NCOs ducking in and out of there every so often, while I was performing my G2 of the company area.  Finally, I had asked an NCO what was going on over to that frozen food warehouse.  He casually told me that people were going in there to cool off and get out of the heat for a little while.  While I was there, a few of the soldiers were eager to talk with me.  It seemed that they wanted to tell me about some of the problems in the company.  I was eager to listen.  I took out my notebook and started writing.  I told them that I couldn’t make any promises but that I had seen some things that were definitely going to change.  I told them that I hoped that the worst was over.  As I was walking out of that cold storage facility, I contemplated what I had told those soldiers.  Was the worst really over?  Were the winds of change really blowing?  I had some serious doubts because my first full day in transition to become the new Company Commander had been nothing but a snake pit full of exercises in futility.

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