While I served as the Chief of the Armament Maintenance Branch for the Deputy Chief of Staff, Matériel, 19th Support Command at Camp Henry, Korea, my primary role was to serve as the fielding officer for weapon systems for units and organizations assigned to United States Forces Korea (USFK), to Eighth United States Army (EUSA), and to the 2nd Infantry Division. However, I also performed other duties as well. One such duty was to work on the realignment of military forces deploying to the Peninsula of Korea in case of an armed conflict. A request came down through channels from the Department of the Army to develop a new time phased deployment list, which was known in layman’s terms as a tip fiddle list. A tip fiddle list was simply a list prepared in priority order by time and element that stated who, what, when, and where. Who was simple. Who, stated the type of organization or unit deploying. What, stated the organizational element or size of the unit deploying such as a company or a Battalion or a detachment. When, stated a deployment period in the number of days after an alert order was given. And where, stated the port of embarkation or assembly area from which the unit would deploy. Relatively straightforward stuff right? Well, as with every requirement that comes down from the Department of the Army, it was sent a week late and they needed a response two weeks ago for a requirement that was put into our hands today. So, of course, we had to work late and on weekends in the secure bunker to get the tip fiddle list updated. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a damn list, right?” Wrong. It wasn’t just a list. In order to calculate the unit types and strengths, we had to calculate the number of man-hours necessary to complete various military missions. Then, we had to calculate the total number of man-hours for each type of military mission and use that total to determine the number and type of units that we would need for the time phased deployment list. It took four of us assigned to the project several days of calculations to develop the list. We were working pretty much around-the-clock. We were cut off from the outside world while we worked in that bunker. We ate, showered, and slept in that bunker. We did not go home from the time we started the project until the time we finished. It was getting well into autumn and it was getting cold in that bunker at night. I developed a sore throat that got so bad that I couldn’t swallow anything of substance like food (for example) after about two days. I didn’t say anything to my boss who happened to be the project lead because I just wanted to get the project over with. On the last day, as we were wrapping up the project, my boss came up to me and asked, “Are you rested enough to take a PT test before you go home?” I gave him a funny look and said, “No. Why, am I due for one? I mean the PT test is a joke. I could take a PT test every day of the week. That’s no problem. But, am I due for one?” “I was told that you need to take one. In fact, we all need to take one.” “Fine, let’s go. But Sir, I need to go to sick call right after it’s over.” “Sick call? What the hell’s wrong with you?” “Well, I’ve been running a fever for two days, there’s a big lump on the side of my neck, and my throat hurts so damn bad that I haven’t been able to eat in one or two days.” “Oh, that’s bullshit. You ain’t sick.” “Yeah, right. Whatever you say, Sir. You are the boss.” After we completed the project, we all went over to Camp Walker to the track to take our PT test. I did my standard 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and I ran the two-mile run in 12 minutes and six seconds. The run time wasn’t the best time I had ever done. But I just wasn’t feeling good. After I finished the run, I told the Colonel that I was going over to the clinic on sick call. When the doctor saw me at the clinic, he asked me how long I had felt the symptoms before I came into the clinic. I told him it had been at least two days. I asked why. He said, “You have a fever of 102, and this lump indicates that you probably have parotitis.” I asked, “What in the hell is that?” “That is a fancy way of saying adult-onset mumps.” “Oh, that’s horseshit.” “I’m sorry, but I’m dead serious. I’m going to prescribe you some pain meds and an antibiotic. And you need to get your ass home and in bed. Here is a note for your unit.” “Gee, that’s great doc. A note for my teacher. Dear teacher, Johnny needs to stay home from school today.” “Well, I’m glad to see that you could find humor in this. But you’re contagious, son. You need to go home so that you don’t make other people sick.” “I got it.” After I left the clinic, I went to my unit to give them the note that put me on bed rest. During an awards ceremony at the end of the month, I received a certificate of achievement for earning the maximum score on the PT test I had taken earlier in the month. The Colonel gave a little speech about how I was sick that day with a fever and was put on bed rest right after the PT test, but that I still scored the maximum score on the PT test. He went on to say that this was after having worked around the clock on a project. When I was asked to comment, all I could think of to say was that my score on the run was off a little bit that day because I didn’t feel good. Well, that was the truth. When people asked me why I took the PT test when they asked me to take it, I just told them that I didn’t have a problem with taking a PT test. It wasn’t like the PT test was a major challenge. I just looked at it as just another exercise in futility.
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