Whenever I traveled on a permanent change of station (PCS) move or during leave, I drove from one point to another, if at all possible. I did this for a few reasons. First, my family and I would always have ready access to ground transportation wherever we went. Second, while traveling in our red Chevy van, we could eat meals from food that we carried with us whenever we so desired. Third, we could stop and visit natural attractions such as national parks and national monuments along the way. Fourth, we could do some close-up sightseeing along the way that we just couldn’t do from an airplane flying at 30,000+ feet in the air. However, traveling using ground transportation did have a couple of drawbacks. First, it consumed more time than a plane trip. Okay. I know that I am stating the painfully obvious. But if you will bear with me for a few minutes, I will get to the point. Trust me. I know what I’m doing. Second, every so often, you might experience a mechanical breakdown along the way. These types of problems happen rarely. But they do happen. You just have to hope that you are prepared for that eventuality when it does happen. Cuz if you’re not, things could get quite ugly. I have never had a situation get ugly. I did, however, have one situation get mighty cold. I will explain that. I also had another situation get mighty hot. How in the hell did that happen? You’re saying it’s impossible to get both cold and hot. No, it’s not. Especially if it is two different trips. I forgot to add that detail. Minor omission. First, the cold spot. I was heading East on Interstate 80 through Donner pass in California headed toward Nevada. It had been snowing but the roads were passable, and I am a North Dakota boy used to driving in snow. I didn’t think anything of the snow. Unfortunately, the California Highway Patrol (CHP) thought otherwise. They had the road shut down, and they had chains required for vehicles to pass. They made me turn around to go back down the hill to get some chains. And let me tell you something. All of those roadside chain vendors saw me coming from miles away. Chains that would ordinarily cost $20 bucks were being sold for a cool $99.99 a set. It was like those things were made of gold or something. When I walked up to the counter to pay for the damn things, I asked the guy if they came with free installation. He looked at me like I had been smoking something. When I looked in the box, they were just ordinary chains. No gold. No, nothing. Hell, those damn things didn’t even have installation instructions. Well, that’s not entirely true. There was this microscopic print on the side of the box with the installation instructions. But it was partially taped over with the tape that sealed the box. I wonder who the genius was that taped the box shut. That sonofabitch should have been shot. Cuz when I peeled back the tape, I peeled away the instructions. So much for that. When it came time to install the chains, I had to guess how the hell those sons of bitches went on. It wasn’t like they spoke and told me step-by-step how to install them. As a result, I had to lay on the cold, wet-ass ground to put those damn chains on. Yeah. I froze my damn ass. Thanks a lot Mister CHP. Oh. I could have paid someone to install them for me. But that would have cost another small fortune. And I was a soldier for Christ sakes. It wasn’t like I was making money hand over fist. Once I had the chains on, those bastards didn’t give me a second look when I went up the hill. Sorry sons of bitches. Now for the hot spot. My family and I were on leave headed from Fort Huachuca, Arizona to Camp Pendleton, California. We were headed West on Interstate 8 West of Ocotillo, California. We were climbing through mountains when the van started to overheat. I had to stop along the side of the road to let the vehicle cool down. With hot desert temperatures, you can never be sure exactly how hot the ambient temperature is. But it had to be well over 100 degrees Fahrenheit that day. While we were waiting for the van to cool down, we decided to eat lunch and rest a little while. After about 45 minutes to an hour, the van had cooled down enough for me to check in the radiator. It was running low. Certain things you can never prepare for on a road trip. Those are unexpected things such as a rock being thrown into your windshield or a fan belt breaking. However, some things you can prepare for. For example, you can prepare for the low coolant levels in your radiator by carrying a gallon of water and a gallon of antifreeze. It’s kind of like insurance. If you don’t carry insurance, your gambling with your life and your health when you cross the desert. Gambling with your life and your health could put you into a world of hurt. That’s when things could get ugly. You can also carry an extra quart of oil for your engine. It also helps to carry some tools with you. I carried and still carry those sorts of things with me every time I take a road trip. In this particular instance, I topped my radiator off with antifreeze from the jug I was carrying. Then, we headed out again. About an hour later, the van overheated again. Once again, we were forced to stop and wait for the van to cool down. Again, after waiting about an hour, the radiator in the van was cool enough to check. Again, the fluid level was low. I thought to myself, “What could be making the cooling system lose fluid?” Then I remembered an incident from earlier that day on Interstate 8 in Arizona. I had just turned onto Interstate 8 at Casa Grande, Arizona. Traffic was kind of heavy, and I was behind an uncovered dump truck hauling a load of rocks and dirt. One rather sizable rock bounced out of the bed of the dump truck onto the road and started bouncing down the road straight toward my van. I couldn’t weave to miss the rock because there were cars to the left of me in the passing lane. However, the rock clunked harmlessly, or so I thought at the time, into my bumper and was gone. Perhaps that innocuous rock that clunked into the bumper of my van was not so innocuous after all. After that second overheating incident, we made it the rest of the way to Camp Pendleton without incident. When we got to Camp Pendleton and rented a camping space at Del Mar Beach Resort, I took my van to a radiator shop to have it checked out. I had the guy at the radiator shop repair the radiator, clean, and flush the cooling system, and put new antifreeze into the cooling system. He also recommended replacing the thermostat and radiator cap. So, I had both of those parts replaced as well. He showed me where the rock had hit the radiator and caused the pinhole leak that had caused my vehicle to overheat when coming up the mountain. Ever since that first time I got caught out in the cold with my pants down and got taken to the cleaners for a set of chains, I have always either carried chains or driven a four-wheel-drive vehicle when driving through the mountains in the winter. You never want to get caught out in the cold with your pants down so to speak. Cuz believe me. Those roadside chain vendors will fleece you. And you better take a class in chain installation 101 before you head out into the mountain passes in the winter. Cuz if you have to pay someone to install chains, it’s going to cost you another boatload of cash. Cuz those guys can see you coming too. And they have customers lined up for days. When you’re traveling through the desert on a hot summer day, don’t look around for any water because there won’t be any around. And don’t expect anyone to stop and help you. You’re on your own, Jack. It never hurts to carry a gallon of antifreeze and a gallon of water, just in case. Otherwise, you just might be up that proverbial Creek in a leaky canoe without a paddle during your next exercise in futility.
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