The day had finally come for graduation from Officer Candidate School (OCS) at Fort Benning, Georgia. Of course, our class could not leave OCS without one final coup de grace. We had been known for our pranks throughout our class cycle. We especially liked to spring our pranks upon our senior TAC (Teaching, Advising, and Counseling) officer. The reason we especially liked to go after our senior TAC was that he was a red-headed freckle-faced person with a very high-strung personality. Since he was freckle-faced and his freckled complexion wasn’t limited just to his face, but to his entire body, he wore his emotions on his sleeve, so to speak. For example, when he got angry, his complexion turned decidedly red. Well, we couldn’t go peacefully into the night without one final coup de grace. We just had to spring one final prank during our actual graduation. It had to be an entire class effort. It had to be coordinated. And it had to be executed without a hitch. But we had already rehearsed the prank during our graduation rehearsal. We had already executed the prank during the rehearsal. Nobody expected us to execute a prank during the actual graduation. There would be generals in attendance. One of our classmates was the son of a general. It was a sure bet that his father would be there for the graduation. Since that general was going to be there, the post commander had to show up. Since the post commander was going to show up, he had invited a couple of his general friends. The generals were going to have a regular snob party after our graduation. We wouldn’t dare execute a prank under those conditions, would we? Yes, we would. Those were perfect conditions to execute a prank. We had to show all those mighty generals just exactly how well coordinated a bunch of lieutenants could be. Without so much as one hint that something would happen, we would proceed to flawlessly execute our devious plan. And no one could have prepared for what was about to happen. In one unified voice, our class would execute the perfect coup de grace for the world to witness. The graduation ceremony started off innocently enough. There was the welcome, then the invocation, then the announcement of OCS graduation awards, then officer candidates were introduced in the order that they were graduating. First, the distinguished honor graduate was introduced. Then, the distinguished military graduates were introduced. Finally, the graduates of the OCS class were introduced. Next, the senior TAC rose to give the oath of office to all of the newly graduated lieutenants. The senior TAC stood at the podium and said, “Okay lieutenants, please stand and raise your right hands and repeat after me.” We all dutifully stood and raised our right hands and awaited further instructions. The senior TAC continued, “I, state your full name.” And we as a class repeated, “I, state your full name.” Everybody in the place burst out laughing except the senior TAC. Instead of laughing, the senior TAC turned beet red. To say that he was upset was understatement. He was not a happy camper. It had been very difficult for us lieutenants as a class to restrain ourselves from laughing with the audience, but we did. Barely. The coup de grace had been executed to perfection. The senior TAC totally lost it and could not go on. The company commander called us to attention and completed the oath of office. Once we were pronounced graduates, we flung our old hats into the air in the tradition of newly commissioned Army officers. After the ceremony concluded, we moved to render our first salute and award the token silver dollar to the NCO to whom we rendered our first salute. I rendered my first salute to the 50th Company First Sergeant. Then, my wife, my daughter, and I took some celebratory pictures. As soon as we were dismissed, my family and I were headed to Orlando, Florida to visit Walt Disney World. Although OCS was not an exercise in futility, I was still glad to put that place and that school behind me.
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