I was traveling with my wife and daughter in my red Chevy van. We were headed across the United States traveling from the West Coast to the East Coast. I was between military assignments. As was typical in my very early years in the military, I was traveling in the winter. It was early winter, so the weather could be kind of finicky. It could be warm one day and a winter storm could be hitting you the next day. We had been fortunate coming across the Rocky Mountains because the weather gods had been with us. However, our luck was starting to run out. We had decided earlier that day to stop at Mount Rushmore, South Dakota. While we were going through the Black Hills, it started to snow. That did not deter us from visiting Mount Rushmore. While I was stationed at Fort Huachuca, Arizona, I had added some upgrades to the interior of my van. First, I put a roof vent into the roof that could be opened from the inside to ventilate the interior of the cargo area. Second, I lined the roof and the sides of the van with R-6.5 Styrofoam insulation board. I put that in for two reasons. One, to add a small layer of insulation. And two, to add a layer of acoustic soundproofing. Next, I added a layer of R-24 insulation as the primary insulation layer. Next, I put up thin sheets of plywood to hold the Styrofoam board and the other insulation in place all the way around. I screwed the sheets of plywood into place with sheet metal screws. Then, I went to Tucson, Arizona and bought a roll of brown shag carpeting. A couple of other things I did. I built a bench all the way in the back of the van just inside the double back doors to the van. The bench stood two feet high by two feet wide and it was framed in with two by fours. I bolted the two by four frame into place. Next, I installed a double thickness carpet pad to cover the entire cargo bed floor. Before I did that, I installed strips of carpet pad in the grooves between the ridges of the cargo bed so that the cargo bed would be level. Then, when I put the carpet pad in, there would be no low spots in the carpet pad. I glued the carpet pad into place. For the carpet that I installed on the interior roof of the van, I first glued it into place, and then I stapled it into place. For the carpet that I mounted on the sidewalls, I did the same thing. First, I glued it into place, and then I stapled it into place. I carpeted and spray insulated all of the doors as well. But for the doors, I cut individual pieces of carpet and glued them into place. I did this so that the door assemblies could be taken apart to be repaired if necessary later. I also cut individual pieces of carpet and fit them to the tire wells and glued them into place. When finished, the inside of that van was cozy enough to sleep and eat inside of, even in inclement weather. After I finished the interior of the van, I had to put a serious sound system into that baby. I hooked it up with an AM/FM cassette stereo with four-way speakers. Once that was done, the van was ready for the road. Fast-forward to Mount Rushmore. There we were. We had visited Mount Rushmore. We had gotten some serious pictures. When we were good and cold, we decided it was time to hit the road. It was already getting pretty dark and the snow was starting to come down pretty hard. We pulled into a rest area east of Rapid City on Interstate 90. We decided to eat dinner there and camp for the evening. We had plenty of blankets and we had the space heater so we would be fine. I had chains for the van that I could put on in the morning if necessary. My wife went inside the restroom with a rice cooker, a small kettle, and a portable one-burner heating element to cook us some dinner. The rice was still cooking when she brought out the kettle with some hotdogs and beans that were already cooked. She said the rice would be about another five minutes. I had already started up the space heater to get the interior of the van nice and warm for the evening. As soon as we were done eating, we would clean up and go to bed. We were just about to start eating when a car pulled up behind me. I don’t have the kind of luck where it was just any old car. No. Just ain’t happening. Naturally, the car lit up like a Christmas tree as soon as it stopped. Of course, the only color lights on this particular Christmas tree were red. Go figure. And the regular Sherlock Holmes walked up to me and asked, “Are you getting ready to eat, are you?” I’m sorry. I just couldn’t help myself. I just had to ask, “Uh, gee officer, what gave me away? Was it the plate full of food I was holding? No. Maybe it was the pack of wolves standing around growling and snarling at me. Was that it? I got it. It was to drool coming out from my mouth, wasn’t it?” “Oh. You’re one of those types, huh?” “Excuse me. One of what types? Never mind. I don’t want to know. See, I gotta eat right now before my food gets cold. Would you like some? It looks like you’re kinda hungry. You’re probably kinda grouchy because you haven’t had any donuts lately. I gotta warn you though. I don’t have any donuts. All I got is rice and hotdogs and beans.” “I really shouldn’t. If you’re sure you have enough? You do have enough, right?” “Oh, I’m sure we do. We got plenty. But like I said, no donuts. I want to make that perfectly clear. We have absolutely no donuts. Would you like a plate? It’s really no problem. I’ll have my wife fix you up a plate.” “Gee, thanks Mister. And I got it. No donuts. All right. I think you told me enough times.” So, the patrolman ate supper with us and then he asked us if we were going to be all right there in the rest area. I showed him the interior of the van with the heater and the blankets and our food, and I told him why we had stopped there. The rest area had toilets and water. The other two things we needed. We were set. I told him I was in the military and knew what I was doing. He said it sounded like we knew what we were doing and then he headed out. I took note of the fact that he headed toward Rapid City. They have lots of donut shops in Rapid City. That day, a patrolman harassed us ostensibly looking for donuts but possibly looking for food like a hungry animal in the wilderness. He was just patrolling for another exercise in futility.
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