After a week of sitting on my ass all day at the Turtle Farm in Seoul, South Korea, watching the American TV station AFKN, the personnel sergeant finally came up to me. He said, “What was your name again?” I replied, “Again?” I’ve only told you 500 times. It’s Wright Masters, SP4. Do you want my social security number too?” “Listen smartass, that will be enough.” “What will? I’ve been here so long, the damn Koreans that work here know me, and a couple of them have retired since I’ve been here.” “Okay, cut the melodramatic bullshit. You haven’t been here that damn long. “Seriously, Sarge. I’ve been here so damn long that there is moss growing on my duffle bag.” “I’ll be right back; I think I have an assignment for you.” “Really? What did you have to do, ask Congress to pass legislation to start up a new unit?” “AT EASE, SPECIALIST! That will be enough.” I guess I had hit a nerve. Must have hurt something fierce, too. He was back in five minutes flat. He said, “I’ve got you an assignment. Get your shit packed and bring it out here.” “It’s already packed, sarge,” I replied. “By the way, where am I going?” “You’re staying right here in Seoul. You’ll be stationed on Yongsan at a unit called the 5th Preventive Medicine Unit (PMU).” “I ain’t a goddamn medic. I don’t know shit about being in a medical unit.” “Well, tough shit. That’s all I got.” What was I going to do, swim back to the United States? I guess it would have to do. A few minutes later, a jeep pulled up and a tall dude got out. He had to be at least 6 foot 5. He walked in and said, “Is this the guy?” The sarge said, “Yeah, that’s him. Please get him the hell out of here already.” When we had my stuff loaded in the jeep and we had departed, the tall dude said, “I’m Jim Cordell.” “I’m Wright Masters, sarge,” I replied. “No, I’m just Jim. We don’t do the rank thing at the 5th PMU. You know. Kind of like the MASH show on TV.” “Really?” “Yeah.” “What do you do there?” “Well, I’m infantry, so they put me in the orderly room as a ‘Radar’ doing the typing and filing. I heard you were a grunt, too.” “You heard right, so imagine my surprise when I drew a medical unit. You’re ‘Radar,’ for real?” “Yeah. And there’s this other infantry guy working in the mailroom. You’ll fit right in. What can you do?” “I can drive anything with wheels, an engine and a steering wheel.” “Anything else?” “Well, I was a mechanic in a Pontiac/Oldsmobile car garage before I came into the army. So, there’s that.” “Good. We need someone to fix the vehicles. Hey, Wright, you ain’t in a hurry to get to the unit, are you?” “No, why?” “Let’s go grab a beer, my treat. I just gotta stop someplace first.” “Okay.” So off we went down to Itaewon-Dong. But we went to a part of Itaewon that I had not been to yet. He went up a hill into a back alley and stopped. He got out of the jeep and said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He wasn’t. It was more like an hour and a half. Meanwhile, I was sitting in the jeep looking like an idiot. This Korean woman came up to me and said, “You take me commissary. You buy cigarette, spam, I give you list.” “What the hell? What are you talking about? Are you crazy?” I replied. “You know black-market, sell make big money?” “I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I just got to Korea. Go away.” No sooner had the woman gone when a young Korean lady came by. She said, “You come meet my ajumma?” “Why?” I replied. “You no like me?” “I don’t even know you. How could I like or dislike you? I mean, you sure do look really pretty and all. But I don’t know you. Besides, I can’t leave my stuff out here alone while I go somewhere with you.” “Okay. I stay and talk to you.” We talked for quite a while and got along great. We agreed to meet later that night. Jim finally came back an hour and a half after he left. I said, “That was one helluva long five minutes. What the hell happened?” “My yobo lives up there,” Jim replied. He pointed to a window on the second floor of the building across the alley. “I had lunch and some afternoon delight.” “More than I needed to know,” I said. We took off driving and I asked, “Where are we going now?” “We gotta get rid of your junk, so I thought I’d show you the barracks. You should probably pick out a spot to bunk down, too, while we’re there.” “Why is that?” “You’ll see. I can’t give too much away.” Fifteen minutes later, he pulled up beside a Quonset hut. “What the hell is this?” I asked. “This is our barracks,” he replied. “You’ve got to be shitting me? That is the barracks? No goddamn way in hell.” “Way.” “Come in and meet the houseboy, Mr. Park.” I grabbed my shit and walked into my ‘new’ barracks. Jim said, “Mr. Park, what areas are open?” Mr. Park pointed out the open areas. I chose an area four spaces down on the right side of the Quonset hut, and put my stuff in the area. I paid Mr. Park for a month of service, and then Jim and I left. On the way out the door, I ask him, “What’s the deal with that area all the way in the back on the right that has got a wall made of blankets all the way around it?” “I told you I couldn’t give away too much. That is the registered nurse. He’s kind of strange. He acts really creepy sometimes, and he likes to sleep in the nude. Steer clear of him if you can. Usually, it’s not a problem because he always hangs out with the public health nurse. Just stay out of his way. Now, let’s go get that beer,” Jim said. “Well alright then.” We actually drank three or four beers before Jim finally decided it was time to go to the orderly room to sign in. “Don’t worry, I deliberately stayed away this long so that nobody would be at the orderly room other than the charge of quarters,” he said. When we arrived at the unit orderly room, he said, “You can just go in and sign in. Then, I’ll take you back to the barracks. Wait, you gotta eat something. I’ll take you to the mess hall first, then I’ll take you to the barracks. Cool?” “Cool, Jim,” I replied. I was going to like it here for sure. The entire first week in country had been an exercise in futility but things were starting to look up.
by 
by 