If you have read some of my most recent posts, you know that I have been writing about my experiences after leaving the Logistics Executive Development Course at Fort Lee, Virginia. Well, I graduated from the Logistics Executive Development Course in due course, and my family and I headed for Fort Huachuca, Arizona. Thus, I am left the Logistics Executive Development Course and Fort Lee, Virginia, behind. If you want to know more about those subjects, you will just have to go back and revisit the posts on those subjects. If you have been reading my most recent posts about my adventures after moving to Arizona, you found out what happened when I initially signed in at Fort Huachuca, Arizona. I subsequently revealed to you that I had been assigned to the Joint Interoperability Test Center (JITC) at Fort Huachuca. JITC is a subordinate command of the Defense Information Systems Agency. You may have read about an interesting situation with a temporary guard. In that same post, I also talked about securing housing for my family. That secured post housing and how spiders rained from the ceilings. Oh yeah. That was quite entertaining. Not. I then switched gears to talk about some of my volunteer work on Fort Huachuca. Oh yeah. That was quite fun and interesting too. I was volunteered by my unit to be a tax officer to help soldiers and their families prepare their taxes. Yay. I discussed how I helped my Master Gunnery Sergeant and his dependapotamus spouse prepare their personal income taxes. I talked about where my quarters were located on Fort Huachuca and how I was introduced to the local chapter of the Hash House Harriers. I discussed an incident that happened soon after I assumed my tour of duty at the Joint Interoperability Test Center (JITC) at Fort Huachuca. This particular incident occurred one Monday morning soon after I arrived at work. I performed my normal morning ritual after I arrived at work. I pulled my red Chevy van into the west parking lot without incident and parked in my usual parking spot. At that time, I noted that my NCOIC, Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr, was in his usual position in the back of his green pickup truck. Naturally, I assumed he was sound asleep so I did not disturb him. I proceeded through the gate and stopped at the gate shack to talk to the guard for a few minutes. Then I proceeded to the tactical testbed operations building. The tactical testbed operations building was an old, converted aircraft hangar. My office was on the second floor of that building. After drinking two cups of coffee and discussing daily operations with my maintenance chief Bill Lee, I decided I needed to use the local facilities. I excused myself and headed for the men’s room. What occurred after I entered the men’s room or latrine or head (whichever descriptive name you prefer) is the subject of that post. My most recent post concerns my efforts to secure a farewell award for my NCOIC, Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr. I explained that there would be two farewell posts about Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr. Well, since the first post was about his farewell award, obviously this post has to be about his actual farewell. You may recall that I said that the whole sordid affair reminded me of a song or a music jingle from an old Vietnam flick entitled “Full Metal Jacket.” Well, the actual farewell was no letdown in that regard either. Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr said that he would attend his farewell function and then he was a no-show at the actual function. The standing joke among all the officers was that he was asleep in the back of his green pickup truck and lost track of time. Maybe that’s true but more than likely, he was just being petty. I asked Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr where he was going to go after he retired? He said that he was going to move to Grand Island, Nebraska. I asked him, “Where in the hell is Grand Island, Nebraska?” I mean, obviously, I knew it was in Nebraska. But where in Nebraska? It was one of those little hick towns that was out in the middle of nowhere on a go nowhere highway that nobody has ever heard of. It might as well have been Sierra Vista, Arizona. He obviously didn’t have a really good answer to my question. So my next question was, “What in the hell are you going to do for money? Do you think you can rely on your dependapotamus of a wife’s Tupperware business for money?” He just laughed. Then he said, “No. Of course not. I’m going to drive big rig trucks. So I replied, “You do realize that you cannot just crawl in the back of a big rig after turning on cruise control and falling asleep, right? The goddamn truck will not drive itself. You do realize that, right? You actually have to drive the damn truck. The truck won’t drive itself. You can’t just crawl in the back and sleep like you did all day here at JITC. Cuz here at JITC, your goddamn green pickup truck was parked in a parking lot all goddamn day while you slept. And then, while you’re out on the road driving that damn truck, what about your dependapotamus wife? What in the hell is she going to do in East bum fuck Nebraska?” He replied, “I realize that I have to drive the damn truck. I have already signed up for my certification school and test. As for my wife, I really don’t give a shit what she does.” I realized that Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr felt like a trapped animal and ‘driving truck’ seemed to be his only means of escape from that trap. Well, that being the case, I wished him luck. Master Gunnery Sergeant Orr left JITC and Fort Huachuca, Arizona, with little fanfare and no exercises in futility.
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